30 Secrets for a Happy Marriage After Kids

Maintaining a healthy and loving relationship is hard, add children to the mix and you have a cocktail for disaster if it is not nurtured correctly.  My husband and I jumped into the fast lane from the beginning of our relationship. Just a few months after we were married we were welcoming our first child, then a year later our second. We are 3 years into our marriage and have two wonderful children and one on the way to show for it.

Marriage is no easy thing! You can’t just read some articles on the Internet and think those easy tips will fix everything. Marriage requires effort, time, and love.  Let me be the first to admit that a marriage with children can be exhausting. Your attention is pulled in every direction. You want to be a good spouse while being an awesome parent. 

I am no marriage pro but I have to say my husband and I must be doing something right. Three years and we are happier now then we were then. Here are our guidelines that work wonders for our relationship:

1. Wake up by saying Good Morning with a Kiss
2. Always kiss Goodbye
3. Communicate throughout the day
4. Send loving Text messages just because
5. Take the time to share about your day
6. Say I Love You at least 5 times a day
7. Cook dinner together
8. Always eat together at the table
9. Have you time
10. Have your couple time away from the kids.
11. Set time aside during each day to spend as a family. For use we go on nightly golf cart rides and look at the nature that surrounds us. This is relaxing and the kids love it!
12. Give random gifts of love just because
13. Find television shows that you watch together weekly
14. Assign tasks around the house
15. Never go to bed angry
16. Take time to calm down when your angry before talking it out
17. Try not to use hurtful words
18. When your wife says she is “fine” she really isn’t
19. Set a time during the night to put all electronics including phones away
20. Pray with and for each other
21. Cook breakfast as a family at least once a month
22. Read books to your kids before bed nightly
23. Always laugh
24. Always smile
25. Always love
26. Say please and thank you
27. Don’t let an argument go by without saying sorry
28. Have family date nights weekly
29. Take interest in your spouses interests
30. Try and go to bed at the same time as your spouse

How do you keep your marriage happy and fresh with kids? I would love to hear what you guys have to say!!

Momnesia: It's Real!

 Momnesia: Pregnant and Losing my Mind

Momnesia. Yes this is a thing. If you are pregnant or have been pregnant, you know exactly what I am talking about. If it wasn’t hard enough dealing with the constant changes of your body, you now have to deal with “Pregnancy Brain”.  This isn’t just your common forgetting were you put your keys, while they are comfortably resting in your hand. I can let our dogs out then five minutes later get up to let them out again, and repeat this five more times. It reminds me of the Modern Family episode where Gloria is pregnant and dealing with “Pregnancy Brain” and almost gets out of the car before they come to a stop. It’s almost like my brain has gone on vacation and my body is just going through the motions.

What causes it: Many experts have blamed the sluggish brain to the upheaval of hormones that I  

personally think the overwhelming thoughts of parenting also contribute, especially for first time mothers. You are gathering so much information and planning for such a large change that your mind is overwhelmed by all your thoughts and the amount of new information being processed.
happens during and after childbirth. But Shannon Seip, the co-author of Momnesia, thinks sleep deprivation can be just as much a contributing factor.

How long does it last: I have read that research shows your Momnesia can last up to a year after you have your bundle of joy. However, from my experience it fades away after you adjust to your new life and your hormones calm down. During my first two pregnancies my Momnesia went away about 3-4 months postpartum. So don’t worry you will get your grove back and you will be better than ever!

How to deal with it now: Try not to let it bother you too much. Unfortunately, it just comes with the territory of being pregnant. I find it better to laugh it off and take advantage of the pregnancy excuse while it lasts. After everything is said and done you will look back and laugh at the things you did while you were pregnant. After all they can make good stories to write in the baby book.

What to really expect during a high-risk pregnancy

Unfortunately not all of us get to have a smooth sailing pregnancy. I have been one of those moms not once, but three times. For every mom this could mean something different. It could be due to preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, issues with your placenta, or history of pre-term labor. For me, I have been given the opportunity to meet my first two children early with pre-term labor. I am also monitored closely for my chronic blood disorder called Chronic ITP, sometimes brought on during pregnancy.

I am in no way a pregnancy expert, but wow does it seem like it. My husband and I jumped into the parenting role quickly in our marriage. After that they came one by one. For the last three years I have been pregnant with our amazing kiddos. Due to my husband working for the Government we have had the opportunity to deal with pregnancy and childbirth in different areas of the country. I would like to share my experiences.

1.  Clear your calendar- Not only will you be seen by your OBGYN, you will also be monitored closely by Internal Fetal Medicine. If you are like me, you will also be seen by an Oncologist to monitor your platelets/blood work. Now what does this mean? You will have a lot, now I mean a lot of appointments to go to. Your OBGYN will most likely want to see you every 4 weeks in the beginning of the pregnancy and then move to every 2 weeks during your last remaining weeks. These appointments can become once a week in some cases. Your Internal Fetal Medicine doctor will want to see you anywhere between every 4 weeks to once a week depending on what they are monitoring you for. And last you will see the Oncologist once a month. 
   
   
   
2.  Become close with Internal Fetal Medicine- I personally love our Internal Fetal Medicine doctor here in Austin! During these appointments you will receive an ultrasound followed by a visit from the doctor to go over everything. We were lucky to see our ultrasounds in 4D, which I highly recommend. Our Internal Fetal Medicine doctor goes over everything that is going on with the baby and myself, from the good, the bad, and the ugly. It is also their call on what extra tests should be given during your pregnancy and if other medications or treatments are needed.
3.   Get over your fear of needles- Before I went through my first pregnancy I was terrified of needles, now they don’t even phase me. I have been poked and prodded so many times its almost normal to me. Depending on what you are being monitored for, chances are you will become a pincushion by the time you go into labor. For me I have to endure the biweekly lab work followed by the weekly progesterone shot. During the first 3 months on my pregnancy I battled horrible morning sickness. From that I spent many nights in the hospital receiving IVs and even had home health nurses to monitor my IV and Zofran pump.
4.     Always ask questions- During a high-risk pregnancy you are told numerous amounts of news, both good and bad. Never be afraid to ask questions and have the doctors explain something better. After all this is the health of you and your baby. If you do not feel comfortable going down a certain road or want a test done SPEAK UP! 
   
5.      Try not to stress- Having a high-risk pregnancy means you or your baby are not in perfect health, but that is why you are surrounded by the doctors you trust. It is their job to make sure everything runs as smoothly as it can go. For me not stressing is the hardest part! Every time I get a bit of news no matter how bad it is I sit on it for hours or even days. The most important thing to do is trust your doctor. If they say don’t stress it usually means everything will be ok. 
6.  Be prepared for anything-  Unlike a normal pregnancy the chances of something happening during a high-risk pregnancy are that much higher. Go over your diagnosis with your doctors and try and map out the possibilities during your pregnancy and understand that any of those outcomes could happen at anytime. I think the biggest shock, especially for first time moms is the surprise of early labor. I took this as my children wanting to meet me earlier than God planned and just prayed for the best outcome. Thankfully my two premies are healthy, beautiful, smart kids.
7.   Tour the hospital NICU- Luckily not every high-risk pregnancy will result in your baby or babies go to the NICU instead of the nursery. However, my first two pregnancies did. I think it is better to understand and know the environment your baby could be in for any amount of time. Having a baby in the NICU is emotional enough, take the opportunity to visit the NICU prior to delivery and ask all the questions you want at that time, because if you baby does end up there you will be to overwhelmed with emotion to worry about anything but your baby.
8.     Pray and trust in God- I never found myself to be an overly religious person, however given the responsibility to grow a little person can be a lot. Trust that you are guided in the right directions and get excited to meet your little bundle of joy! Most of all never lose hope!

More to come

Hey y'all! Sorry for the absence of new posts. I have been crazy busy with the news of our third child and trying to manage everyday life. I promise there will be more posts soon!